There are many cases in which a marriage does not end amicably. In some situations, there is a great deal of tension when going into a divorce. However, despite this, it is important to know that it is still possible to work towards a divorce that is not hostile. Deescalating conflict between you and your soon-to-be former spouse can benefit you in many ways, especially if you have children together. Continue reading below to learn more about how this can be done and contact an experienced New Jersey divorce attorney for assistance with your case.
Key Steps to a Non-Hostile Divorce
Going through a low conflict divorce is not impossible. It takes certain effort and skills to work through disagreements with another person. There are a variety of different ways that spouses can move towards keeping hostility to a minimum in a divorce. This can include the following tools:
- Practice radical acceptance. Refusing to accept the reality of the situation at hand may cause you to act out in anger during the proceedings. Acceptance allows you to focus on making the best possible choices instead of waiting for a “gotcha” moment.
- Be a flexible thinker. Do not look at your divorce as having one possible solution. By not considering different options and compromising throughout the process, you invite conflict into the proceedings.
- Manage your emotions. Going through a divorce, you experience many heightened emotions. Trying to communicate with your ex when you are angry can cause further problems and escalate their own feelings as well. Develop healthy habits and coping skills to manage these feelings to make better choices.
- Communicate effectively. Mastering effective communication strategies is one of the most important steps you can take going into a divorce. When contacting your ex, be sure to leave feelings and opinions out of it. Be concise and speak in a neutral tone.
- Stop caring about what your former spouse thinks. Feeling misunderstood or disrespected by your ex can ignite feelings that cause you to want to react in unhelpful ways, such as arguing or returning their contempt. It is best to disengage so you can make the best possible choices.
- Focus on your behavior only. Turn the focus on yourself and your own needs during the divorce. By constantly thinking about what your former spouse is doing or how they are acting during this time can bring up unpleasant feelings. Staying in control of your own emotions and actions can allow you to minimize conflict.
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